Stoner Dating: New Sites Connect Marijuana Consumers

Dave and Penelope are on a date. After a nice Italian dinner, they go back to Dave’s place, settle into his faux-suede sofa and clink glasses of cheap Merlot.

A successful date overall. But then Dave reaches under his sofa and pulls a pre-rolled joint out of his stash box.

Penelope: And what is… that?

Dave: A joint. An after-dinner joint.

Penelope: A joint of what?

Dave: Um… mari… marijuana.

Penelope (dramatic look away): I didn’t know… you were a pothead.

Dave: Well, I don’t really consider myself a pothead, more of a casual…

Penelope (flustered and angry): A stoner! A weedhead! A red eye! An iron lung!

Dave: An iron what?

Penelope: Don’t act clueless, Dave. It doesn’t suit you. Had I known you were nothing but a Johnny Blaze, I never would have dated you.

David: But I said I’m 420-friendly on my Match.com profile!

Penelope: Who the hell reads those? I just liked the pictures of you bungee-jumping with your friends! You looked so… clean and innocent!

David: We were really stoned when we did that.

Penelope: Ugh… I’m so disappointed. Well, good luck finding a woman who smokes the Devil’s lettuce with you.

David: The Devil’s what?

Penelope swigs down her remaining wine, grabs her coat and leaves in a huff.

Dave (smoking a joint, alone, thinking to himself): Boy, I wish there was a dating site where all the members smoked ganja. I’m tired of feeling like an outcast just because I like to toke! What’s a guy to do?

Luckily for lonely tokers like Dave, there are several 420-friendly sites where weed lovers can meet their smoky mates, including 420Singles.com, HighThere.com, My420Mate.com, StonerSingles.netand Date420Friendly.com.

These sites proudly promote more than just a shared habit, but a lifestyle. The members are portrayed as mellow, easygoing and bringing no drama, implying friendliness and honesty (or at least open-mindedness).

But clearly, not all pot smokers are mellow (including yours truly). So do these sites promote a stereotype that only a portion of smokers relate to? This begs the question: Since pot culture varies so greatly, why would the love of weed make us more compatible? One could argue that you might stand a better chance comparing your Dream Salad ingredients with those of another suitor.

Looking through these stoner matchmaking sites, I asked myself: Would I want to date someone who considers smoking pot a primary identifier?

Most people I know, even if they don’t partake, aren’t horribly put off by those who do. In addition, most of the bigger dating sites (Match.com, OKCupid.com) allow members to find fellow smokers, yet draw from a much larger pool of people than many of these newer and often underpopulated niche sites.

But hey, it doesn’t hurt to try, right? 420Singles.com is for pot people who want “fun dating, fun times and fun people.” Damn, that’s a lot of fun to be having. Who could pass that up?

“I was new to Cali and wanted to find someone with similar interests as me,” writes Jules T., a satisfied customer at My420Mate.com. “[It] helped me find my love, and now we burn together every day!”

Sounds like a match made in stoner heaven, at least for a month or two.

For something longer-term, people like Jules T. and Dave might be better served dating someone unlike them. Shouldn’t we be more open to people different from us?

In the Daily Show segment “Inter-Political Dating,” a Republican and Democrat are placed on a blind date, even though both vowed they’d never date across party lines. And while correspondent Jessica Williams tries to incite an argument between the two over dinner, the couple gets along reasonably well.

Another inter-political couple highlighted in the segment is asked to discuss how they manage their longstanding marriage, as one is a Democrat and the other a Republican. Since both had suffered from cancer in the past, Williams asked the couple if they argued about Obamacare. “No,” the husband answered, “we were trying not to die.”

Bottom line: There’s a common and more essential tie that attracts and binds us regardless of our personal predilections. The need to genuinely connect with our fellow humans trumps the desire to date a fellow farmer—or stoner.

Niche dating sites potentially risk locking us in a perpetual state of petty selectivity, like a child who’ll only eat the green M&M’s.

When we interact with those who don’t neatly adhere to our lifestyle, and venture beyond our immediate comfort zone, we grow as humans. These sites may narrow the playing field, but they may narrow our minds a little, as well.