How To Convince Your Grandparents Marijuana Is Better (And Safer) Than Alcohol

Philadelphia comedian NA Poe with some key talking points on cannabis. «Even the shwaggiest of shwag pot is superior to cheap booze.»

By Nikki Allen Poe

– There is no marijuana version of beer goggles.

– Marijuana addiction can’t get passed down through your family’s goofy genetics, like Uncle Andy’s alcoholism.

– Think about a stoner comedy … now picture the characters drunk.

– It’s possible to wake-and-bake and still be a productive member of society. But if you drink before noon, you have a problem.

– Habitual marijuana use leads to Cheetos, ice cream and Netflix, not liver disease.

– People don’t usually smoke too much weed at their office holiday party, hit on a hot co-worker, and wind up calling their boss an asshole.

– Stoners run a significantly smaller risk of getting punched in the face by a collar-popping bro wearing too much cologne at a club.

– It’s really rare for people to get really stoned and send their exes embarrassing late night texts.

– Nobody has ever smoked too much weed, gotten taken by an ambulance to the emergency room, and had to get their stomach pumped.

– Syncing Dark Side of the Moon and the Wizard of Oz would probably be a disorienting and disturbing experience on Jack Daniels.

– Even the shwaggiest of shwag pot is superior to cheap booze.